| Monday, August 22, 2005 |
| spiritual sensitivity |
one thing i know is wrong and that i gotta really stop doing is comparing myself to other christians. And i understand how God speaks to different people in different ways but sometimes i really feel that I am spiritually desensitized. So many times in a church setting for example, friends have shared how they sense the presence of the Spirit in the room and i have felt nothing. So many times friends have testified boldly of having a crazy undeniable only explainable by God experience and i have been left questioning why I have been left out. And I'm left with two different streams of thought. One: I am spiritually desensitized: Living life as maybe I should do rather than what I am told to do (but these orders are falling upon deaf ears). Two: My lack of faith and confidence in the Spirit's guidance over my life is unwarranted... the Spirit has been guiding me all along and i'm just too obtuse to see it. I've entertained both streams and still am left with questions.
I remember back in the highschool and some can attest to this that i was praying for spiritual gifting (the ability to speak in tongues). At that point in my life, i felt that in receiving such a gift, that would for sure mean that i would be more in-tune to the Spirit. But yeah, so far, still nothing which led me to believe that either i was not praying hard enuf or possibly i was praying with the wrong motives in mind or simply, God was saying no all along.
Now, more than ever, I feel a deep desire for the Spirit's active guidance in my life. I want to be an empty vessel to rise up to serve my King but at the same time i completely lack the boldness, the spiritual discipline, the passion to go to war. Now, more than ever, I must take my life seriously and the lives that are in my life seriously as well. I must not take sin lightly as sin is always crouching...waiting to pounce and grab a foothold and drag me down like it has time and time again. Help. |
posted by DarrenGene @ 1:00 AM  |
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| 4 Comments: |
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hi dar!
one thing i've been working really hard on this summer is seeking His face in everything i do. i've found that when i take my focus off others and think less about what the people i look up to would be doing/feeling - its easier to focus on what He wants me to be doing! just a word of encouragement for you to continue doing your thang - cuz God's gifted you for AMAZING THINGS even if it isnt speaking in tongues just quite yet! ;)
smile lots and run fast dar! (in Him of course.. teehee). see you in k-town!
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ps. God is moving - the campus of Queens is gonna be CRAZY nxt year dar! i FEEL IT!!!
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Darren! Amen on that brother! There are times that I feel inadequate compared to other more "mature" Christians as well. Questioning why God has chosen them rather than me...but I've come to realize that alongside different gifts, God chooses different people for different tasks! I'm positive that one day, when the time has come, that God will reveal His gift for you and bless you immensely with it :)
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hi dar!
one thing i've been working really hard on this summer is seeking His face in everything i do. i've found that when i take my focus off others and think less about what the people i look up to would be doing/feeling - its easier to focus on what He wants me to be doing! just a word of encouragement for you to continue doing your thang - cuz God's gifted you for AMAZING THINGS even if it isnt speaking in tongues just quite yet! ;)
smile lots and run fast dar! (in Him of course.. teehee). see you in k-town!