| Sunday, January 07, 2007 |
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i've come home to the remains of what must have been an epic insect war. There are no live cockroaches or bugs of any sort... just their severed appendages littered on my countertop, on the stove, and in the sink. My archeological training and examination of the remains has allowed me to narrow it all down to two highly plausible explanations: Either cockroaches are cannibalistic and have a habit of leaving the legs unpicked or there's something more threatening than roaches in my apartment that i need to worry about... namely a new strain of bug that has mandibles and pinchers of death capable of piercing the kevlar like exoskeleton of the cocharoach...and also have a tendency to leave the legs behind maybe as a form of display of dominance and supremacy as if to say that there's no point in running from us cause we'll just severe your legs from ur body biznatch. Which is probably what happened in the end. The roaches probably realized that there was no point in running from their new found predators and staged a final stand, but ultimately were wiped out by the new strain and yeah i really have to get some sleep.
The Day After: Scratch the part about no live cockroaches. I've killed 3 big mothers so far and counting. Make that 10. I've found a nest
Evening the Day After: So I've found multiple hiding spots. 6 More Whoppers hiding in the rice bag with a litter of babies (they're multiplying!). The drawer where I house my important papers also has become a home. I've temporarily sealed off cracks which could be their entry points. Killed about 10 more with the rubba slippa. It's almost becoming routine now coming home, flicking on the light and watching those suckers scatter like u caught em cheating on your wife. And let that be a lesson to anyone in the future who even thinks of cheating on my wife. I will throw a slippa at you to slow you down, slam down the same slippa on your head 10 times until ur insides bleed out onto my carpet, bounty quicker picker up you and toss you into the toilet to a watery grave. Cockroaches (both insect and human) beware. |
posted by DarrenGene @ 5:40 AM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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yuck! but you need to display dominance over the new breed of insects by scaring them both. how about lets throw in some squirrels on your killing tirade? down? yeah? yeah? :)
LOL. have fun back in hawaaaaiiii!
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ahahahahaha...i guess the small roaches called in the big guns i'm tellin u man, bb gun...endless fun... hahaha
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GOSH! haha how disgusting and dramatic!! have you thought of getting professional help!? haha
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yuck! but you need to display dominance over the new breed of insects by scaring them both. how about lets throw in some squirrels on your killing tirade? down? yeah? yeah? :)
LOL. have fun back in hawaaaaiiii!